In a perfect world divorced parents would be able to live in peace and harmony. During the holidays, divorced parents would be able to communicate effectively and make plans selflessly. Unfortunately, that is not the case most of the time. Planning parenting time can be tricky, so instead, Bedlam Law offers some amicable ways to make your post-divorce halloween a treat for the whole family.
Co-Parenting is difficult, especially during the holidays, and Halloween is no exception. Summer is over and school has started. As the leaves begin to fall, the evidence is clear. The holiday season is right around the corner. Many post-divorce families struggle with major holidays, having to juggle custody arrangements, making sure the kids get to visit the requisite family members for an ‘appropriate’ amount of time, and trying to maintain traditions in a changing situation.
A relatively minor holiday to most families, this Halloween may be the perfect opportunity to try something a bit different and get this year’s holiday season off to cooperative and enjoyable start.
If you are having problems negotiating the terms of Halloween parenting time, below are a couple of suggestions to help you along in the process.
Check Your Agreement
If you have a written agreement check to see what is says regarding Halloween. If you chose to include it, the terms of the agreement dictate what will happen. However, all too often Halloween is not specifically addressed. If this is the case, the default is the regular schedule, even if it means one parent misses Halloween several years in a row. If you have not finalized your custody arrangements and Halloween is important to you, make sure it is addressed in your parenting plan or separation agreement.
Think About What is Best for Your Kids.
Remember it is not about you!
If your agreement is silent or you don’t yet have an agreement, think about what is best for your kids. If one parent thinks that trick or treating on a school night is not a good idea, and the other parent thinks that is not fair to the kids, what will the undermining of parent 1’s parenting authority do to their relationship? How would Parent 2 feel if this was done to them? Most importantly, how will this affect their kids moving forward?
Start a New Tradition
If you and your ex can not be civil for the amount of time it takes to take the kids Trick or Treating, then do not waste your time trying to take them together and ruining Halloween for your children, instead just start a new tradition:
- An annual trip to the pumpkin patch
- Apple picking
- Hosting a pumpkin carving or decorating party
- Baking a pumpkin pie, roasting pumpkin seeds, or making other holiday treats from scratch,
- Attending a Fall Festival
- Planning a Halloween theme movie marathon
- Allowing your kids to select the treats you will hand out to neighborhood kids, OR
- Anything else that interests you and your children that you can share together and do year after .
If you have not addressed Trick or Treating with your spouse or former spouse, or any holiday schedule for that matter, it is not too late to figure out a holiday parenting plan. Bedlam Law is a resolution minded law firm, we can help you get the parenting time you want during the holidays. We also offer mediation, which is a widely used alternative to court.
Call 405.232.2444 today to schedule a consultation. We look forward to hearing from you, Happy Halloween!